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|Rank||Allegedly Normal User|
|Join date||Early 2007|
|Allies||Anyone who doesn't suck, probably including you.|
|Moves||Oh you know, the kind of moves you'd expect from a Vampire Hunter Space Marine Sometimes Kong.|
|Theme(s)|| Theme of Simon (SiFi)|
Hidden Character Theme (Maximum Power SiFi)
Gensokyo Overture (SoFi)
Pirate Lagoon (SiFey Kong)
Dinosaur Laser Fight (Dracusaurus Puppet)
Playing Bagpipes Nearly Kilt Me! (Scottish Mario)
|Specialty/Most Active||Mario Boards|
|Aliases||SpyFi, for when he's being SNEAK-AY|
|Age||It changes once a year, but it's the same in one world as it is in the other.|
Wait I think I got the lines between reality and my delusions and what I know are delusions but play along with anyway blurred again.
SiFi is most definitely a user on the Super Mario Boards, and sometimes the Wiki if he feels like it. He'll sometimes brag about being responsible for the Donkey Kong series not having its own separate Wiki, but since then there's been one added to NIWA, but the Mario Wiki still covers all things DK. So he isn't sure now what there is to brag about.
Most of the time he looks like an armored human but this often gets confusing due to him trying to convince people for a while that a puppet he operated was the real him and having all kinds of alternate selves.
SiFi's history is either wildly inconsistent or wildly uninteresting, but never both at the same time. All you really need to know is that right now, he probably exists
SiFi used to claim to be female just to mess with people, but as more and more people on the forum came out as transgender, he realized it wasn't exactly a laughing matter for those people and decided to cut it out.
Abilities and Equipment
SiFi's Belmont DNA (by the way he has belmont dna) makes him stronger and more agile than the average human, let's say to about the same extent as Captain America. It also allows him to wield the Vampire Killer Whip, which hurts evil things pretty badly, and various subweapons. He wears armor that doesn't instantly shatter when it comes into contact with an enemy, and really what more can you ask for.
Being a vampire hunter and space marine, SiFi doesn't really discriminate when it comes to weapons, but he tends to prefer whatever's coolest over whatever's most practical. Because he isn't the Chosen Heir to the Vampire Killer whip, he'll use a substitute whenever he can, and he also favors axes, gatling guns, and BFGs.
SiFi also has a hand puppet in the likeness of the Legendary Dracusaurus Rex, which probably doesn't exist even within his most warped delusions. By messing with timespace, he can make it look like this puppet is actually its own distinct entity. Yes I know that's basically what puppetry is but the point is he can make the puppet look human-sized and also not attached to his arm. SiFi's most reliable trump card in battle is to call upon the enigmatic Scottish Mario, one of the most destructive forces known to man. All that's known for sure about Scottish Mario is that he's Scottish, he's Mario, and he wants to fuch... everybody.
Maximum Power SiFi
When SiFi's usual brand of godmodding just isn't doing the job, he'll transform into MAXIMUM POWER SIFI, which basically means he's got muscles for days. While some people have muscle memory, SiFi has Memory Muscle, which means he can become stronger by remembering that he joined the wiki before most other members and allowing that to inflate his ego. Alternatively, he can just use spinach or a berserker pack. In this form he doesn't bother with weapons or whatever because he's strong enough to lift abstract concepts like, oh I don't know, the Prisoner's Dilemma. When SiFi acheives Maximum Power, he has pretty much the same body as Mike Haggar from the Final Fight series, so even though there are no good images of him out there he's still fairly easy to picture.
From his Maximum Power form, SiFi can make things even more ridiculous by turning into Maximum Power Maximum Power SiFi, who has a twelve-pack and a big butt. He's basically unstoppable.
There's an infinite number of alternate universes out there but infinity is a scary number so let's just look at a few of them for now.
SoFi is SiFi's female counterpart from the Great Giana Boards universe. Just as SiFi looks like Doomguy in orange armor with Simon Belmont's head, SoFi looks like Crash in orange armor with Sonia Belmont's head, the key difference being that her armor covers her entire torso because that's practical. While SiFi favors guns, SoFi's specialty is magic-based attacks, but the overall result tends to be the same. When bulking up to Maximum Power, her body doesn't change, but she gains a longcoat she wears like a cape and a matching hat. Like this only with a completely different person in there.
SiFi's parents considered naming him Christopher, and in the alternate universe where they did he became evil. Figures. But to take all the fun out of what I've said so far, the real reason he's evil is the Terror Mask. Having this mask on top of already having the same abilities as SiFi means he's more powerful, especially at maximum power, but good guys triumph over villains more powerful than them all the time so whatever.
There's a female SiFi, and an evil SiFi, so of course there's also an evil female SiFi, complete with a name reflecting just how silly this is getting. The "Bo" is short for "Bonnie" okay she's like Baby Bonnie Hood. Rather than the Terror Mask, it was the Book of Claws that turned her evil. As such, her maximum power state, like SoFi's, doesn't make her particularly muscular. The progression looks something like this.
SiFey Kong is probably from the timeline where the Wiki Alliance split information about the Mario, DK and Wario series into different wikis. Main universe SiFi tries not to acknowledge him because he finds it awkward stressing the first syllable in "SiFi" (or in this case, SiFey) rather than the latter. He weilds a coconut gun and a hand cannon, but for the most part just solves problems with his fists. When he achieves maximum power, he assumes the physique of Donkey Kong Jr. in that one bootleg fighting game. You know the one.
The Dracusaurus puppet in Space Pizzas ate Monday. Or it's the for real deal SiFi depending on Edo's intention. It's his comic.