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The Pyro Report/Episode 4

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"Happy Bisexuality Day!" Pyro shouted as he walked up onto the stage.

LTQ floated in. "Pyro, why was I not in the last episode?" he asked.


Lololo, Lalala, NSM, and GP walked in shortly after. "What the hell is Bisexuality Day?" Lalala questioned.

"The best holiday ever!" Pyro said. "...Except for RandomYoshi Day."


"Good morning, folks, and welcome to episode something of The Pyro Report!" Pyro shouted.

"...Yes, he's that lazy. He doesn't even know this is the fourth episode." NSM muttered.

"...W-what? Fourth?! I could've sworn it was the tenth!"

NSM sighed.

"So. The news. Biggest thing so far - BMB has left forever..."


"...after claming the forum is a living hell. He said he would still be on UP and the wiki, but he came back shortly after and got into an argument with Edo and a few others in the VotW thread, which got locked."

"Locked? I can unlock it. I have a variety of keys." Lololo chimed in.

"...That's not what he meant, you douche." GP said.

Pyro resumed. "Also, NSY and Shoey got into a huge argument and they both left. They both returned soon after, though. Seems like a lot of people like leaving suddenly."

"...Like Waddle Dee?" NSM asked.

"Speaking of him, I need to remove him from the logo. I'll replace him with a box of Froot Loops."

Pyro walked off to the computer lab to do the deed.

"Froot Loops?" Lololo said, puzzled. "I'd rather slap a box of Cheerios on him!"

NSM decided to continue the news. "Also, Yoshi K is hosting a MK7 tournament. Go sign up, says the script."

Yoshi K suddenly appeared. "Hooray, free advertisement!" he shouted with glee.

Lalala walked up to him. "Pay up."

"Cripes." Yoshi K said, and handed Lalala a quarter.

"Continuing..." NSM said, annoyed. "Lego-ault-"

"Legualt..." GP corrected.

NSM stared at him for a few seconds. "...was banned for arguing with the mods about something with Miyamoto considering Yoshi's Island a Super Mario game. A weird thing to argue about. Boidoh was also recentley banned forever due to an incident with him being racist, annoying, and disrespectful to American history."

"Fuck America," Pyro said as he walked in. "Also, I finished. I gave NSM a Coke for the hell of it!"


"I already said I prefer Cheerios!" Lololo yelled.

"Well, too bad. Waddle Dee is now a box of cereal. I make wonders happen." Pyro said proudly.

"Also in the news..." NSM continued. "Breaking news in fact. Nabber found the best Tumblr. It is of badly recreated animated film frames!"


"Limited to animated films?" Lalala started. "That's RACIST!"

"Hey, NSM! You skipped something. It's Kirby's 20th Anniversary!" Pyro chimed in

"...I skipped that because it didn't involve the forum." NSM replied.

"It's still awesome! Happy Birthday, Kirby!"

"Yeah! Let's get drunk!" Lololo yelled.

"Don't take your trope to the extreme, Lololo. At least not yet." Pyro ordered.


"Now, it's time for a new section!" Pyro said. "It's called 'Userpedia's Treasure Trove'. It's a section where I go exploring in the ancient temples of outdated Userpedia pages! First up - Shows!"

"This page is recent. However, there's something that caught my attention..."

"This show isn't on the page?" GP asked.

Pyro shook his head. "No..."


"So, what is this? I have absolutely no idea. A poor little user who wants to do a show, but it's a red link. Alright, kid. Wanna do this? Here's some advice. Go on the Mario Wiki Forum and advertise it in Fan Creations. The forum is more active than UP by a longshot."

"You can say that again..." NSM whispered.

"So, that's it for Userpedia's Treasure Trove! See you next episode, where we explore the deep depths of A Spammers Revenge!"

"...Kill me." Lalala said sarcastically.

"Now, jumping into another thing. Please welcome our special guest, FireKirby!"

-cricket sounds-

"Oh, come on!" FK screamed as he walked in.

"We really need to call the exterminator, Pyro." Lakituthequick said as he floated his way toward the phone.

"Alright, FK..." Pyro stated. "There's one rule during interviews."

"What's that?" FK asked.

"Don't touch my Ruffles?" GP guessed.

"No, it isn't. It's don't call the exterminator about the cricket infestation."

LTQ immediately stopped and backed away from the phone.

Pyro turned to FK. "Still, you probably shouldn't touch GP's Ruffles."


The following is a chat log.

+++ packetstorm.va.us.darkmyst.org set the channel to mode +n

+++ packetstorm.va.us.darkmyst.org set the channel to mode +t

EPISODE 4 and shit

Topic set by Pyro on Sun Sep 23 2012 11:15:58 GMT-0400 (Eastern Daylight Time)

<FireEevee>: yeah I am here

<FireEevee>: Pyro you ass, get your ass here already

<Pyro>: poop

<Pyro>: so, what's your sign?

<Pyro>: are you dead?

<FireEevee>: nope

<Pyro>: Alright, so let's start. How is it going?

<Pyro>: i cant upload this image

<Pyro>: dammit

<FireEevee>: good, just I've been trying to put the BMB fiasco and shit away and as for my birthday it was great and I had pokemon themed cake.

<Pyro>: speaking of cake i had some cheesecake the other day

<Pyro>: it is SO FUCKING GOOD

<FireEevee>: yeah, it melts into your mouth and oh god, don't remind me of the flavor, it's so deadly delicious.

<Pyro>: i know right especially the choclate its like fudge

<Pyro>: *chocolate

<FireEevee>: speaking of chocolate man, the cake had chocolate inside it.

<Pyro>: no kidding, a cake is no cake without chocolate

<Pyro>: CHOCOLATE!!!

<Pyro>: CHOCOLATE!!!

<Pyro>: oh shit i have to leave

<Pyro>: see ya

That is the end of the chat log.

"Shortly after, FK replied "this isn't over pyro" but I never came back." Pyro confessed.

FK gave Pyro a look. "Curses, because I was going to-"

"Don't need to know." LTQ interrupted.

GP suddenly walked in, even though he never walked out in the first place. "Hey, Pyro! Come check this out!"

Pyro, FK, LTQ, NSM, Lololo, and Lalala followed him into the computer lab, where the cameraman and a blob of floating Userpedia text were.

GP signaled the cameraman. "Zoom into my face dramatically."

And so he did.

"Late Night with Mason and Tabuu Episode 5 came out, run for your lives!!!!!!" GP yelled into the microphone.

The speakers made a horrifying squeaking noise, so horrifying that FK called a Warp Star and get the hell out of the studio.


"Sus, it is!" Lololo said, having no idea that "sus" was just a random noise.

"Wait, the cameraman's a Walky?" said FK, who somehow had gotten back into the studio.

"So, that's it for this episode!" Pyro shouted. "Now, we'll end this episode on a high note. GP..."

"Guess what, guys! I got embarrassing footage of Lololo skydiving into a floating trench!" GP revealed.

"Guh what?" Lololo said, confused.